Day 6: Childhood memory

11 Aug

I didn’t post yesterday’s photo yesterday, as I wanted to keep up the tradition of Wordless Wednesday. Yesterday was ‘childhood memory’, a concept I find hard… because, I don’t have many childhood memories. Without going into details, I experienced a lot of painful things during my childhood, things that I keep with me still. Of course, I have happy memories too – like the time we went camping, all four of us, sleeping in a tent high up on the mountain where there was nothing but heavy clouds and heather.

I remember waking up early, around dawn. It drizzled outside. I had slept in my jeans, which I always did when I slept in a tent. No time for pyjamas. I’m not sure how old I am. Four, perhaps? Five? I had to go to the bathroom, which there were none of. So I tried to wake my mom up, to get her to come with me. I’ve never liked going outside, and still don’t. I couldn’t get her to come with me, and I remember getting out of the tent alone, and I remember the feeling of the clammy jeans, you know, the way they get when you’ve slept in them, in a sleeping bag. My wellies in the wet heather, the heavy, drizzling clouds above. I so distinctly remember the sight of my blue jeans, my purple wellies and the beautiful heather all wrapped up in this heavy weather, the smell of dusk.

So how do you take a photo of that? That’s hard. I could have tried to recreate it, taking my camera and drive to a place I know I can find some heather, put on my big-girl wellies and try to shoot it, but I think it would ruin it.

Instead I found a photo from my kindergarten-file: A small paper folder, with my name on the outside. The kindergarten has adhered a a note on the inside cover saying that this is for the children, so that they feel safe. The parents are to put pictures of the families inside, so that the children will have some familiar faces. I’m not sure when it was made, maybe throughout the years I spent there. There are some photos inside, my dad holding me right after I was born, from my 4th birthday in kindergarten, to the vacation in Greece before I started school i ’92. Maybe it was meant as something we should keep from our kindergarten days, for when our school years began? I’m not sure, but I have a distinct impression that it was given to me by my kindergarten.

I picked a photo from it. There are not many to choose from. There is not a lot of photos to choose form my childhood. I have these six. Those that are in the folder.

I chose this one. I’m 1 1/2 years old. We’re vacationing in Denmark. I’m holding on to this foal and refusing to let it go.

 

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One Response to “Day 6: Childhood memory”

  1. Ursula 11/08/2011 at 7:29 am #

    don’t know whether I can share all the feelings your thoughts evoke in me Margrethe. I feel choked up just reading it. I think in part because I know those thoughts and experiences. I’ve thought about making an album about my life as a child. It was very painful too. I have the same dilemma as you with pictures also. I own only a handful as my mother burned the rest when I was around 12 or 13. Anyway, hugs to you and I understand how that is painful. When I tried to organize my photos about a year ago, I didn’t get very far because somehow it brought all that pain to the surface. Good for you writing about it and thinking about it. You are a beautiful strong woman today who is a pleasure to get to know.

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